Conformity

It is very natural for the 6th sense of human mind to concentrate on “conformity”. Right from childhood, if not us, at least our parents would have stuck to this concept.

Parenting always is based on “Conformity”. Starting from the selection of Nursery to a life partner it goes in the hands of parents which in turn is influenced by the relatives and society. Conformity comes as a result of these influences. There are two reasons for conformity. When a majority chunk agrees upon something, it is deemed to be ‘conformed’. The other one, even at uncertain times the thought of “Why to stand alone?” comes there and group cohesion occupies common sense.

“Conformity” can be accepted as a safer decision sometimes but not always. When we depend largely upon others to make the choices of “our own life”, there is no meaning to our life at all. Eventually, we have not lived our lives but the others. This is why we should make our own choices to live our lives. This over-protective mentality, it not only stops progressing and exploring, it may also put us and the larger society in danger. When it comes to group cohesion, people worry about “mental safety”, which is being safe from criticisms. Let’s think about a whole lot of people jumping into a deep well and we do the same fearing criticisms and isolation. We aimed for safety but ended up in danger. The same is happening in the wider arena. Nothing is invented or discovered without going behind things that are not sure. And in fact, any conformity comes after trial and error of things that are not known for sure and taking up criticisms as boosters.

Firstly, without making our own choice we cannot identify even ourselves. Being too cautious about anything regrets the progress and being one among the lousy sheep is never going to bring the real “you” out. When a fish is asked to climb a tree because all cats and monkeys do that, it cannot climb it and this doesn’t mean the fish is stupid. It’s all about uniqueness. You have to believe that you are unique and need not always depend upon other’s decisions but “yours” predominantly. The whole idea of conformity cannot be wrong. Of course, it is highly useful to get professional advice on certain things like career and personal counselling. However, remember that counselling is only guidance and not a decision. In fact, counselling is something which helps you to make your own decisions clearing you from the cluster of multiple other decisions forced upon you by family, teachers, friends, society etc. Whenever your decision is made by someone else, remember that it is not a “decision for you”, it is an “expectation from you”. So, always stick to the point that “Suggestions can be anyone’s. But decision should be yours”. Making your own choice is what lets you live your life, adds meaning to it and push to take the different path and explore it for others. Be an explorer rather than a follower.

When making choices shifts from self to others, that is where parents saw the conformity of job and money in IT. Every parent pushed their child into that field without even knowing the child is not a farmer and has grown up to be a carpenter. They were so blind to see that the field was getting overpopulated and the field was hollowing into a pit and the mighty pulled the weak in to stand on top. The future generations seeing the height of the mighty, didn’t even recognise that there are totally spacious new fields where cultivation can be fruitful and ample. Conformity and group cohesion blinds us. When we are blind, there is no “conformity” either. The only valid conformation and prevention of danger is only when we prevent others from making decisions of our life and explore to ourselves instead.